C'est Moi

The proclamation for Arthur's Knights of the Round Table attracts the
infuriatingly perfect Lancelot from France:

Camelot!  Camelot!

In far off France I heard your call.

Camelot!  Camelot!

And here am I to give my all.

I know in my soul what you expect of me;

And all that and more I shall be!

A night of the table round should be invincible;

Succeed where a less fantastic man would fail;

Climb a wall no one else can climb;

Cleave a dragon in record time;

Swim a moat in a coat of heavy iron mail.

No matter the pain he ought to be unwinceable,

Impossible deeds should be his daily fare.

But where in the world

Is there in the world

A man so extraordinaire?

C'est moi!  C'est moi,

I'm forced to admit!

'Tis I, I humbly reply.

That mortal who

These marvels can do,

C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I.

I've never lost

In battle or game.

I'm simply the best by far.

When swords are cross'd

'Tis always the same:

One blow and au revoir!

C'est moi!  C'est moi,

So admir'bly fit;

A French Prometheus unbound.

And here I stand with valor untold,

Exception'lly brave, amazingly bold,

To serve in the Table Ground!

The soul of a knight should be a thing remarkable:

His heart and his mind as pure as morning dew.

With a will and a self-restraint

That's the envy of ev'ry saint,

He could easily work a miracle or two!

To love and desire he ought to be unsparkable.

The ways of the flesh should offer no allure.

But where in the world

Is there in the world

A man so untouch'd and pure?

C'est moi.

C'est moi!  C'est moi,

I blush to disclose,

I'm far too noble to lie.

That man in whom

These qualities bloom,

C'est moi, c'est moi, 'tis I!

I've never stray'd

From all I believe.

I'm bless'd with an iron will.

Had I been made

The partner of Eve,

We'd be in Eden still.

C'est moi!  C'est moi,

The angels have chose

To fight their battles below.

And here I stand as pure as a pray'r,

Incredibly clean, with virtue to spare,

The godliest man I know . . .!

C'est moi!