How to Handle a Woman

Lancelot continues to annoy Guenevere; his latest claim is that he can perform miracles.  She has promised the three knights who challenged Lancelot they can carry her kerchief.  Arthur asks her to withdraw this honor, but she refuses.  Arthur cudgels his brain, trying to recall Merlyn's advice:

How to handle a woman?
There's a way, said the wise old man;
A way known by ev'ry woman
Since the whole rigmarole began.

Do I flatter her?  I begged him answer . . .
Do I threaten or cajole or plead?
Do I brood or play the gay romancer?
Said he, smiling:  No indeed.

How to handle a woman?
Mark me well, I will tell you, Sir:
The way to handle a woman
Is to love her . . . simply love her . . .
Merely love her . . . love her . . . love her.

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